I just sent Andy off to school on the day of his first solo fieldtrip EVER! I am freaking out! We woke up this morning, and he tried telling me he couldnt bring a lunch on the fieldtrip. What?? You are going to be starving. He had the details a little jumbeled. Bring a brown bag lunch so you can throw it away, but you cant bring it on the fieldtrip. Well...that still wasnt quite right, so I checked the reminder the teacher sent home, and yes,they do get to eat lunch! They need a brown paper bag so they can trow it away, do not bring nice insulated bags. Aaahhhh. Ok, irrational fear number one- Check!
Then he got this sad little look on his face, and said, " I wish you could maybe, come with me mommy." It was hard for him to ask me, and even harder for me to explain that I couldnt go with him. That totally broke my heart :( I told him not every mommy gets to go, only 4. He can still walk with his friends and have a great time though! Then I tried to explain to him about the Children's Museum and to see if he remembered going there. He didnt- and looked overwhelmed... so we got online and went to the Children's Museum website- Ah! Curious george :) I read him the details about what was there, and he was better. I was afraid I got him a little too comfortable with the idea of being there..."Oh, by the way Andy, You need to make sure you are paying attention to the teacher and always watching for your group, ok!" He says, "Whats a group." I am thinking...Ok- I am going with you now... but instead I played it cool and explained to him what his group is and that they will all be wearing their green marathon shirts, and to make sure to stay by them the whole time. The thought of him going downtown on a bus, and being there in that big huge place without his mommy or Daddy, scares the crap out of me. I am going to be listening to the news to make sure there are no bus accidents, and constatly trying to clam myself down and NOT , I repeat NOT going to drive myself crazy thinking about him getting separated from the group downtown, getting involved in playing and looking up to see that his group is gone and he is not, going into the bathroom and having a child molester hiding in there (crazy fear, yes, but unheard of- NO) , being sad that I am not one of the mommies that went with. (He asked me, "why don't you WANT to come with me mommy?") God, I want to go with you more than anything kiddo- but I cant just show up. Maybe I can just happen to "bump" into them down there! Oh, what are you guys all doing here, you mean your fieldtrip was to TIHS Children's Museum? Gee, I had no idea...Mind if we tag along? I dont think they'd buy it :) So, irrational fear numbers 2,3, and 4... CHECK!
Then to make my little heart break even more, as his bus is at the end of the driveway and he is running in front of it to get on, he turns around out of no where, with the sun shining on his face, and blows me a kiss with the SWEETEST little smile on his face!!! Awwwww, why'd you go and do that, now I am going to be thinking about that and trying not to freak out about you being downtown...and thats just gonna make it even harder.
So, reality check:
mommy's fear that her first born baby is growing up...
check???
I remember both of Jaycie and Maxwell's first solo field trips. They were both in preschool. They rode in the cars of the chaperoning parents. I had to leave the car seat with the school. It was horrible. No big bus to protect them. But it all worked out in the end. It's so hard to let go though.
ReplyDeleteHoly cow! I would feel worse knowing they were in someone elses car and I had to leave their carseats... I dont think I could have done that- and preschool age would have made it even more difficult!! You are strong :) I dont know why the whole bus thing makes me feel a bit safer?? Maybe because you cant miss a big yellow bus going down the freeway. It is sick and wrong man. Jaycie and Max turned out great, so I should just calm down!! Hahaha
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