Fresh start

After moving from Vox to type pad, I have written one whole time. I have no motivation to write anything on there because I just don't like the site. So I thought I would come over here and try Blogger on for size. It can't be worse than type pad. Ew.

So we will see. I think I like it better so far. I just liked Vox and how it was easy to see when people updated their blogs. Maybe this site does it too... I have lot's to learn about it. Change is never easy.

Here's to gettin' to know you, Blogger!

Major fun, meet Major guilt. Howdy do?

Guess what? I am doing this. I really really am. I can't believe it since I said I would NEVER ever ever never never do this...but I am. I am doing it. It will be fun. It is needed. It is long over due! The last time I did this, Jake and I weren't even MARRIED yet!!! Ack!

Do you know what that means? It has been over 10 years since I have done this. But OH MY GAWD do I have a raging case of GUILT for it! How dare I?

Coming up in the near future, I am getting my big rump on an airplane with my good ol' pal, Daphne, and we are flying to Michigan to see our other good ol' pal, Sadie! I will be gone from my family...my sweet sweet hubby and my little honey bear boys for 4 nights and 5 days. I am going to fly. I'm flying. Pardon me for a second.... (&**@&$....&*^!!!%....(*(&&^$&$*@&!^$@&*$^@&*$^@&!). I don't know if I am ok with the whole idea. I am not. Nope. I am going to do it, but I think I am going to be a basket case... until I get back home and wish I wouldn't have worried and obsessed over it. But that is how I am.

But to go see my girls and have a little R&R... I will sacrifice. :) I have images of the 3 of us getting pedicures together and having a glass of wine while we sit there... just like their web site shows. Boy do they know their way into a girls heart. A little pampering, great friends, and wine. CURSE YOU beautiful Michigan spa.

But it will be ok. The plane will land gracefully and we will get off of the plane in one piece...(right?). I am looking forward to it so much!! I just need to tell my over paranoid mind to CALM DOWN. Calm down in there...you hear??

Seriously.

Normally I come on here to talk about how cute and adorable my kids are. Right, can you blame me?? But this time I am just a little irritated by something and there are no cutesy pictures to attach to it, no cute little stories... I am not even sure what I am going to accomplish by saying what I am going to say. I am just totally and utterly confused and need to speak my mind. Plain and simple.

I am just confused how people can live in denial. How they can live so bitterly and unhappily...and hold on to grudges for no reason. How they can always be at odds with multiple people at one given time...like life is too calm if they are not butting heads and fighting with someone-- creating drama.  And at what point will people grow up? Will they EVER admit they were wrong, or mean, or did something incredibly hurtful and disrespectful. Will they ever just let people move on and let everyone be happy, or will they continue to drag people down into their dark lonely place, just so they feel a little better for making everything a little more unhappy. I don't understand needing or wanting to add that tension and hurt from talking bad about people behind their back. These people would rather have everyone scramble to live their lives around them, and basically expect it to happen. Why can't they see that always being so impossible and immature is hurting more than just the intended person. At what point in your life do you stop being a birthday brat? At what point in your life do you realize it's not all about you...the world isn't at your beck and call- to bow at your huge smelly feet?? They can take a kind gesture that was intended to make life easier for a very deserving person, and turn it into backstabbing, utter chaos and upheaval making it seem like the kind gesture was actually an act of deceit and done to personally sabotage them.

I could go on, but I am not going to. My point has been made, I think. Maybe not. I am just so beyond frustrated. I hope to God that someday, people will grow up. I hope they will realize the worlds spotlight is not on them, and only them. I hope they start to think of other people before they think of themselves. I hope for once, they try to make things positive and peaceful for the whole, instead of trying to get their own way. When will they realize how very immature they are being?? The problem is that they won't. They will continue to play the victim. They believe their own lies. It is miserable and I pity them for living such an awful life, and encourage them to try to be nice to others and see what happens. Just once. Maybe??

My brother is hard at work, I think.

A few days ago, I was driving home from the mall with the kids all snug in their booster and car seats. We had a great time passing a couple of hours there... just the little guys and me. But it was getting late and I wanted to get home before rush hour.

Not that I was in a hurry at all, I just didn't want to drive 20 mph when the speed limit was 40. Are you thinking I am going to tell you a road rage story?? Come on. I had my 3 little boys in the van with me. No. Just frustration. And impatience. No rage...not even a bad word (Or finger!).

When we FINALLY got to the stop light to turn onto the highway, this car in front of me who was holding up the show in the first place, got through to make the right turn just before the light changed. In my head I was telling the jurkus off...but really, I just sat there as I watched the traffic wizzing by for a few minutes... pretty frustrated. But for no reason whatsoever... I suddenly stopped being frustrated and thought to myself, "No big deal. What do I know. Maybe there is a reason. Maybe this is stopping us from getting into an accident." Why would I think that? I don't know. I don't know why I suddenly stopped feeling stressed about missing the light and found my patience again.

So, with my new happy frame of mind I made my turn and headed home. As I got to the exit ramp, I noticed it was kind of backed up... more than it should have been for the day and time. When I got to the bottom of the exit ramp and onto the normal street, I saw that there was a dump truck stalled in my lane a head.

I got into the other lane to get past and realized that the dump truck wasn't stalled. It wasn't broken down. It had just (a minute or two before hand) smashed into the rear end of a compact car! Boy did I get the chills, and the little hairs on my beck stood up on end...and I tried so hard not to get tears in my eyes. I looked in my own back seat and saw my 3 little boys, safe and sound. Andy was sitting oblivious in the 3 row seats, that if that were our van that got hit, would have been mangled.

So we drove away. Safe. In one piece. A little freaked out. A lot grateful. And sorry for the person who did get hit- but seemed to be shaken, not hurt. Not to say that this truck would HAVE hit us instead, but the timing was right. And I have to wonder...

I have always said that my brother will be the best guardian angel for my kids, and my niece. I think he just proved me right.

Hearts of palm

I am not talking about the food, (but I am really curious what it tastes like). What I am talking about is how my heart is walking around in the form of these 4 boys I am lucky enough to spend every day of my life with. The best husband in the world, and 3 of the sweetest boys I can ever imagine.

Last night, Ryan woke us up with a blood curdling scream... "Mommmmmmyyyyy!!!!!" Jake has much faster reflexes at 2:36 a.m., so he went into Ryan's room, and came back 5 minutes later. "He wants you. He is waiting for you".

I walked into Ryan's room and he was already almost out his door to come and get me... so we got back into his room and snuggled a while. I traced my finger across his chubby little face, his big baby blues met mine and I melted. Soon his little eye lids were drooping, drooping then closed. I stopped, and just sat there with his face melted into my hand. His cheek fit perfectly into my palm...the way his tiny head fit into my palm when he was a newborn.
I melted again. My heart was there...in the palm of my hand. I just sat there staring for a while, enjoying that moment where one of my little monsters was back to being innocent, peaceful, and q.u.i.e.t. I am lucky that my boys still like to snuggle, and I still get the random kiss blown to me at baseball and soccer. All the moms look at me and smile. Awww, that is so sweet. Yeah- I know, and I love it. They agreed to love me and hug me even when they are 16. And its these little unexpected kisses and snuggles that make me feel like a princess, the luckiest wife and mommy in the whole entire world. To the moon, and around the sun, all around every single star, back to earth and around every single tree, and back. To infinity. That is how lucky I am, and how much I love my little men, and the love of my life.

The last day, just my boys and me.

Jake will be back home tomorrow and we can't wait. I have missed him so much, and I know the boys have too. But after a very busy week (A great week, but a crazy one) I may just be picking him up from the airport, and then going to get a pedicure or something while he reunites with his little buddies. Are you reading this babe?? Be prepared! My little tootsies and tosies need some serious TLC!!!

So, what did we do today? We got up and hung out doing a whole lot of nothing. I went to Target and got a few things that we needed and some that we didn't need, but that still found their way into my super hot, newly designed plastic cart. (They look so cheesey... even worse than the old ones they replaced!) Then we had a little lunch, and tried to think of something fun to do the rest of the day. I gave them the choice of the Zoo or the Arboretum. Most little boys, I think, would have picked the zoo...hands down. But not these 3. They were pumped to go to the Arboretum! I think a lot of it had to do with Andy's field trip there during the last week of school. He walked around that place showing us everything he saw on his field trip. I just kind of slipped behind Andy and Justin and let them explore and lead the way...there was no harm in them getting lost, or hit by a car on the deeper paths. I did get a little nervous a few times though. They had us so far into the middle of no where that I wasn't sure we'd find a path back to the main road-- but we made it. Next time we will drive the 3 mile loop and have the car filled with snacks and water since today, we just mindlessly started the walk without a thought or bottle of water! 3 miles in warm weather is just too much when you're 3 years old! This is one place where you can go and go and go and never see the same things twice. There is always something new blooming, or a new path to take and explore. Sadly today, when I took the camera out for the first of what I had hoped would be a whole new bunch of pictures, the battery was dead- so I got nothin' for ya. They also had a great time following spiders through the woods, and looking for Hagrids hut... just like we knew they would. ;)
 
On the way home we stopped at Dairy Queen for a treat (of course I had NOTHING to do with that idea). We got home, had some mac-n-cheese and they are in bed. The end. That was a busy day. Holy Moly, Tomorrow cannot come fast enough!!! I miss my man :)  

How we spent the last day of June, 2010

First off, let me say that we are still mourning the loss of either Alvin, Simon or Theodore. I murderized him yesterday on the way to soccer, and based on the thunk under the tire, I'd say it was Theodore. The kids, (Ryan mostly) keep asking me, "Mommy, why did you kill the chipmunk?" How is that for guilt? It's kind of like pouring rubbing alcohol on a skinned knee. In my own defense, it was just sitting in the middle of the street, and it was either I run over the chipmunk, (Who was dumb enough not to move...I really thought he'd dart out of the way at the last second.) ... or I run over the tan guy driving a fork lift full of sod. My odds were better with taking out the furry little guy. The sound of that thump and the little bump following it, still haunt me.

But on a happy note, we had a fun day today- and nothing had to die as a result of our fun! We had a lazy morning- and those are as precious as gold these days. Their hair was getting a little out of control and growing in really... funky after the homemade haircuts I gave them a few weeks ago. I brought them to the pros today and they look like nicely groomed little boys again, instead of the little dirty shaggy things they were turning into. We had a fun day with Grandma Kathy and the girls. The 6 of them together are so sweet... especially when they aren't bickering and seeing who can get away with what to who. :) (Whom??... maybe- but it sounds snobby and I'd rather sound stupid than snobby.) Anyway. Where was I? We had fun outside ALL day... we played in the pool, played on the playset, and played anywhere in the back yard that you can imagine. Then came 6 tired and hungry little tempers so we had a beautiful Subway pic-nic in the backyard. Then... you got it. More playing outside. And don't forget the 4th of July shirts the kids made. That was a super fun way to spend a good chunk of time with them. They had a blast.

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I can't wait until the house next door is done and they have sod so my swing set pictures don't look so redneck.

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Ryan really "cracks" me up in this picture. Ha. Yeah- that was a bad pun. But he wanted to put on his own sunblock after we had gotten him with the spray, so he squeezed some out onto his little hand, and voila. Mixed with cheetos, he a nice blend of white-ish orange sunblock and a few crumbs for some added texture and flavor.

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Mixed up in that blanket is Justin... he was cold and didn't want any bit of himself exposed.

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Andy had a baseball game tonight... and Grandma and Grandpa brought ALL 3 of the boys to the game so I could get caught up on dishes and laundry. I am still not caught up- but it is 300% better than it was before!  When they got home it was bed time... so I rubbed some aloe vera  on their little sun burns and tucked them into bed with sweet kisses from mommy, and the extra kisses and I am giving them from daddy this week. I am so anxious for it to be Friday when he gets home. Tomorrow at this time, I will be saying "Tomorrow" we get to go pick him up! That is a lot of tomorrows isn't it?? Bummer... but hey. It's better than the 5 days we started with, right?

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This one's for you, Daddy :)

Since my hubby is out of town for a while, I promised some pictures and a little description of what we did each day. I am already slacking and missed the last 2 nights but I made up for it with pictures today :) So here you go --

Some pictures from right before he left...

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We woke up and I was already in a better spot than the first morning... no sheets to wash and no cat hack to wash off the carpet! Yeah! Andy and Justin played connect 4 while Ryan slept in... until 9:30!!! My dad, Haylee and Jayda came over while I had an appointment to go to, and when I got back Ryan was snuggling with my dad, and the other kids were "doing activities" in the bonus room. Haylee was the teacher and had the other 3 as her students.

It was already past 10:30, but I didn't want Justin to miss soccer, so we got shoes on and made it for the last 45 minutes of soccer. He is such a stud out there! He was so determined NOT to let that ball in his goal. Looks awesome for a 5 year old, huh??

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But even soccer stars can use a little help if their shoes come untied during the game. He is only 5...geesh.

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Andy was content to lay there and relax...

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Ryan followed his lead and chilled out on my lap.

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When we got home, we hung out in the front yard and rode bikes, and played with chalk. (Andy of course, sat on the porch in the shade doing his suduko book)

The flowers looked extra gorgeous today after all the rain we've had and finally getting some sunshine! :) 

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You know the drill here, right?? Mommy says "Smile" and they do this...

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But I DID manage a nice one though.

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We hung out in the house for a while and then had a pic-nic and played on the swingset for another long while, until I got the crazy idea to cut the grass all by my little self.

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SOOO... it was off to Grandma and Grandpa's house to play with Auntie Lynn so I could attempt to cut the grass. They got to help her wash her car and they LOVED it! I have to say... the yard looks SO much better than it did before, but when I got to the end I was making a tiny little figure 8 in the middle of the yard. I must have been sub consciously taking Pete up on his offer to race lawn mowers and was making the race track...I don't know??? Now if only I had the weed wipper... the yard would look like a million bucks! Then Grandma Kathy came over with Dilly Bars and let me got o Michael's to get shirts and paint for 4th of July t-shirts! :) Before bed, the boys had their bath/shower, and then Andy actually helped me put away his laundry, and sorted Ryan's for me! That was awesome-- and that pertty much leads us up to right now...it took me forever to download the 600 pictures. So.... I will take more pictures tomorrow and show you our day while we pretend you are here and not in another state. We miss you and we love you and can't wait for you to come back home!!! Have a safe day tomorrow!!!

Bubble gum, bubble gum, in a dish

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Think of each of these little tiny feet as a possibility. What? Yeah- you heard me... each of these little feet stands for something in this post, and it will carry me through the rest of my life. (Nice, huh??)

Girl feet versus boy feet...they represent the two fields I am torn between-  health care feet, or education feet. And each little foot is a sub category within the field. In the health care field, there is: Nursing, Lab science, Songraphy, and Surgical Technologist. In the education field, there is Teaching, teaching assistant, and some type of office staff.

Today, I played this game, and my hand landed on "Teacher" and why not?? Yes -I really want to work in the medical field, but I really want to be in the education field, too. A long time ago, I decided to be a teacher. I changed my mind because there are no jobs for teaching around here. But right now are there really any jobs for anything? So why take the safe approach and have a slightly easier time finding a job in a hospital, or follow what my heart has known this whole time? It may take a little longer to find a job, but some day, it's got to happen...right?? It would definitely give me a reason to buy the packages of "It's my Birthday" certificates that I already buy for my own kids. I know the girls at the "teacher store" because I am addicted to going in there. The days where I go into school for the boys, I am giddy. It is a feeling that I can't even explain. Imagine- me speechless?? Although, I have had a good run at being a professional patient lately- that is not on my list for long term career choices.

I'd like to say that it's official, and that I might have just settled on my career choice and figured out what I want to be when I grow up. But, I will need to play this game again tomorrow and see which foot my hand lands on.

Field trip to the source of the manuer smell invading our open windows

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It's that time of year again. It's spring, it's getting warmer and things are blooming again! For the preschoolers at school, that means the annual field trip to the farm! For the second year preschoolers, this day has been a looonng time-a- comin'. Justin went last year as a 3-4 yr. old preschool class, and now this year as a big 4-5 year old preschooler. Really, what a difference a year makes! This was a whole different trip this time.

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The kids are older and more aware. Aware of what?

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The smell is horrible! This farm happens to be right up the road from us, and there are so many times where I open up the windows to let some nice fresh clean air in to lighten up the smell in the house...only to have the house smell like ammonia and cow poo. So, the windows get buttoned right back up, and on top of the stale house smell, we are graced with the smell of poop now too. BUT...that is fine by me. I'd rather smell that, than exhaust from cars/busses when I open the windows.

Also, just like last year, I got the mooshy heart felt feeling by the warmth and generosity of the farmer and his wife, for letting us visit their farm. They don't just let the kids visit and have a "sort of" cool field trip. These are grandparents who truly love kids and have as much fun as the kids do for these visits!

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They get to do hands on things too- feeding newborn calfs, collecting eggs, holding piglets...you name it.  Not to mention the highly anticipated tractor ride where they pile in the back like a bunch of clowns in a clown car.

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And isn't a field trip the perfect time for some stress-free, classroom-free bonding with your little friends??

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What else is spring known for?? Blossoming buds on on the trees, blooming tulips and daffodils, the smell of fresh cut grass, wet dirt being stirred up, the smell of rain and worms, and baby animals being born...baby chicks, piglets, calfs, and... puppy love. Sharing a nice fuzzy dandelion with a girl in the middle of a waist high field of green grass and flowers.

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You can tell what the look on his face is, even though you can only see by the squinting of his eye, and the raising of his cheek bone. It tells me he has the biggest, happiest, flirtatious, puppy loving smile going on. A look not for me- but for the little girl in pink with her blond pigtails blowing in the wind. Wishing on the dandelion fuzz. Like one of the last posts where me and Justin were talking about dandelions and making wishes...I wonder if he is wishing for chocolate ice cream, floating in the air and being able to breathe, or maybe for something else this time...who knows?

Inside the mind of Jabberjaws Justin

Justin: "Hey Mom? We need air to live. But if we didn't have air I would want to float around all day. Yeah. That's what I wish life were like. But only if we had air to breathe and could still float."

Me: "Yep- we have to have Oxygen to breathe."

Justin: "I know what oxygen is, Mom. It's air. And if I can find a dandelion to wish on, I am going to wish that we could float and still breathe. Can I?? When I used to wish on a dandelion, I always used to wish for chocolate ice cream. "

Me: "Oh yeah? I bet sometimes you got it too."

Justin: "No. Never got it. But if you see me eating a chocolate ice cream cone that you didn't make, it's just from my wish, OK?"

Me: "OK. No problem"

This was my morning conversation in the van with Justin, after dropping Andy off at school. Does it get any better? Really- I love hearing him talk about what goes on inside of his mind.

Wiiality

Wii. This thing is starting to get on my nerves. Wii, from sun up to sun down. No- the kids are not actually "on" the Wii that long. Give me some credit people. These boys of mine just have a great imaginations, and play the reality version of Wii. The favorites to bring to life are Star Wars and Super Mario Bros.

Today, I told the boys to turn off the Wii and go play something real. Legos. Transformers. Tag. Anything...just get away from the video games! Justin and Ryan went down in the basement to play Legos and Andy disappeared for a few minutes...only to reappear with a soup can that he had decorated as a pumpkin in school this last fall. It was filled with little squares of paper that he had decorated with a question mark on one side, and on the other side was a variety of things like a red flower, a mushroom (Big red one, or little blue one) and and green mushroom for an extra guy, and a star. He got his brothers together and they started to play Mario Brothers Live. They would draw a paper out of the can and act out whatever they picked. If they got a star, they were invincible. If they got a big mushroom, they grew, if they got the flower, they could spit fire. You get the drift here, right?? They ran in crazy circles making obstacles that were supposed to be the turtles, and skeletons, etc... that kill the Mario Bros. in the game. At one point, Ryan was laying on the floor screaming, "Help me! I am all the way Dead!" (meaning he used up all of his lives and needs to wait for the next game), and Justin was yelling for Andy or Ryan to "Come and pop me". So one of the boys would go over, tap his shoulder to pop his bubble and they would go on playing.

They were so in to this and creative. Let me tell you- those Mario Brothers better keep their eyes out for the new boys in town. That's right. The Luce Brothers. And why do I feel the need to have my text alert set to the Mario Bros. Song?? Like I don't get enough of it already?? I feel like singing "Liv-in in a Mario world!" Madonna would be proud, right?  Wouldn't you?

Have you seen me?

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MISSING:

Name: "Baby"

Age: 7, born in 2003, but adopted in 2007 by loving boy pictured here

Race/Ethnicity: Light Blue Ty Pluffie pudder bear

Height: 9 inches

Job: Retired

Last Seen with: Ryan, on Thursday morning. While attmepting to secure Baby under his seat belt strap with him, baby fell to the floor of the van. Since Baby's Grandma was driving, she couldn't reach back to save the baby- but planned to pick him up off the floor at their destination. Being the senile Grandma of Baby, she opened the door of the van, and now has no idea if Baby fell on to the parking lot never to be seen again, or if Baby's Daddy (Sweet sleeping boy above) picked him up and misplaced Baby in school, at a store, or at a Doctors office.

General description: Baby has poor vision (Due to chipped eyes from being chucked into the ceiling fan going at high speed) so he may be hesitant to approach anyone or anything since he can't see too well. His color has faded from a nice light blue to a matted dingy blue/gray. He is thin in his chest, due to sagging, but all his love sits in his belly. He has a long string that used to make up the toes on his little foot, that now dangles off his foot and makes for a very nice leash to drag Baby around with, by wrapping it securely around a chubby little finger. (But not too tight- Don't worry).

Additional Comments:Baby is loved more than any old adult can fathom, resulting in the printed out paper "baby" that Ryan is currently snuggling with at bed time. His Grandma is crushed, and feeling very guilty and can't stand to see her own baby so empty handed... like a little piece of him is missing. Though he is just a bear, he is loved and a part of our family. If you find him, please send him home. We all miss him very much.

Sore butts are worth the fun and belly laughs

Tonight was the first night EVER that any of the 3 boys got on a pair of ice skates and tried to prove they were hockey loving Minnesotans at heart. Jake and I had a hunch on how things would go... boy were we wrong! Andy took to it like he had been secretly taking lessons behind our backs. Ryan (on double bladed skates, so it isn't quite the same) just blew us all away. Justin did great but went into it thinking he would just get on the ice and magically, poof! He knew how to skate. Not so much.

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See, that is Justin's precious little butt about to slam into the snowy ice for the first time. He was definitely a tripper, er, uh, I mean TROOPER the whole night, and worked so hard to stay up on his feet.

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Then there was Andy...who somehow was turning and going places in his skates by the end of the night. I gotta steal our buddy Johnny Test's line for this one... "Woah! Didn't see that coming!" He did great- way to go Andy!!

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BUT, I've got to say that the biggest shocker of the night, was our little man Ryan!!!

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I know, I know. Skates with double blades on the bottom make it A LOT easier to skate, but he is 2 1/2! Let me have this minute to brag him up. He was wobbly in the warming house...I though that maybe we were making a mistake. Then... WTF??? I realized that about 40 minutes into our giggles, I hear this Skliiissshhh, sklisshh, sklisshh sound. I turned around to see Ryan's little feet in a blur.. think Road Runner BEEP!BEEP!. He is running. I stop, Jake stops, and amazingly, Andy and Justin stop and we all just stare. At Ryan. Running on the ice in his brand. new. skates. I say out loud, "And Ryan is running." He stopped his little feet and the stinker just kept on gliding- with the biggest smile on his face. Yes, honey. We are proud of you too :)

So we had a great night. Lots of falls, many on purpose, just because. And lots and lots of laughs and not to mention, a few proud little boys on our hands. When can we do it again?

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