I havent looked forward to a date this much since me and Jake set our wedding date, and got the due dates for the 3 little monkies when I was pregnant. This is the date my mom starts chemo. I (and everyone else too) have been thinking about this date and wondering when it would ever come. I dont know if it is that her inscison has finally healed enough, or they said no more fooling around when she got the cancer on her tongue too... but whatever the reason, she got her start date today. She starts next Wed the 7th. It will be a long, hard haul- 24 weeks worth, but I know she can do it. It is the beginning of the final steps of this whole thing. Once she gets done with chemo, we can think of this in "past" terms. Thankfully they are very thorough and will have her go back every couple of months for the first 5 years and then once a year for the rest of her life. When the doctor said those word to her today, she got so happy and smiled and said "The rest of my life, I like the sound of that." I dont know how she holds it together like she has, but I know that after watching her go through this and feeling so many mixed emotions with her, I dont know a stronger person than my mom. Who said a litte 105 lb lightweight cant be tough?? All I know is that my mom is a hero... for me and anyone who thinks they cant get through something... she is proof that you can. She has been through so much, and look at her. She is amazing and I am so glad she is my mom!!! Go mom!!! We all love you :) You can do this!!!!!
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Bored and un-motivated
So I have tons of stuff I want to do today. Phone calls to make, things to clean, laundry to put away, and
kids to play with...
But, I have ZERO energy/motivation to do anything! This is going to be a beautiful day to get outside too. Maybe this half coffe/ half coffee mate that I am drinking will give me that boost :) Just say something to motivate me!!! Kick my butt into high gear- Please!! Haha!!
Monday, October 29, 2007
Little gouls
I will introduce the group of characters from left to right...
"Haylee Montana" Entertaining everyone with her pizazz and show stopping talent!
"Ryan the Dalmation" Melting hearts with his cuddle-ability and big slobbery kisses!
"Andy Earnheart Jr." Running in circles around the rest. So fast, he'll knock your socks off!
"Justinman" Friendly neighborhood spiderman, saving all from the evil do-ers of Shakopee!
"Ra-Ra Rachel" A kid after my own heart :) Cheering on her cousins during a race or while spider-izing enemies
"Princess Rayna" So fitting, minus the devil horns she had on!
"Austin of the Jungle" King of the jungle sitting high on the thrown...Just dare to knock him down and he'll growl at you!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
The eyes have it
Or should I say, I have had it with my eyes?? I know there are way more important things to be thinking about right now...lots of them in fact! But I just realized last night, how much I hate not having 20/20 vision! I hate having to wake up and put in contacts. I hate having to wear them all day and then take them out every night. That is just so irritating when you are so tired that you stagger like a drunk up the stairs! Oh, gee...hope I dont miss and poke my eye out. But whats the difference then anyway! I can't wear my glasses because I hate them and the way I look in them. If I smile too much, they make the back of my head cramp up...and they give me such a headache. I love it when people put on a pair and look super cute...not me though. I feel like I am peeking out from inside of a little hole in a box at the rest of the world. I could get all cleaned up and ready for my day...but if I put glasses back on, I feel like I am still in my pj's- so even if I am lazy, I STLL have to drag out the contacts and put them in. I was joking to Jake that I should get Lasik. Then he said, "I thought you hated the idea of that??" Yes, infact- I do! I dont know what that laser is going to do to my eyesight when I am 50, 60, 80... No one knows YET! I give up. I pretty much just hate everything that has to do with my eyes- and there is nothing I can do about it. Awwwww....bumm-o.
So, thanks for listening to me whine and complain about something that really does not matter in the least compared to what some people have gone through or are going through in their lives! How petty of me. It's just one of those teeny tiny little annoying things in life that really dont matter all that much- but just annoy the crap out of a person... kind of like mosquitos.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Honoring 2 year old slang!
Kids say the darndest things... here are a few of my favorites that Justin has said recently:
-He just honked his noise (as a car honks its horn)
-We just habed jack da appo's (we just had Apple jacks)
-Look at this bubble boy!!! (What he says after he stands up to get out of the bath tub)
-Get out mom! I need my pwivacy. (As he is in the bathroom going potty)
-I dont like gool colos, I like kid colos. (He doesnt like girl colors, he likes kid colors. Apparantly, girls are not classified as kids in his book, only boys are kids!)
- I am in kindo-gawden too! (Wanitng to be like his big brother and go to school too!)
- I like aiwpwames, and wato-hackos! (airplanes and helocoptors!)
How funny :)
Is it Monday?
Why did I wake up this morning all stressed out and grumpy?? This morning has gone so crazy- it feels so much like a monday. The positive thing here, it that it actually is FRIDAY!!!
So, my kids wake up nice and early...still dark out. Thats not hard to do now though, since it is still dark out at 7. Hehehe. (Never said I was a morning person!) It is just sooo hard to drag myself out from underneath my nice warm blankets. I sleep under a sheet, a warm throw blanket, and a down comforter that usually has a flannel duvet on it. See why it's so hard to get out of bed? Well, that, and the fact that Ryan got up once or twice last night and also at 4:30 and wouldnt sleep until I gave him a bottle! Finally I get up and start getting Andy ready for school. There is something in the air, or it is a full moon or something- I cant believe how much energy these two have! And they are deviant on top of it! Anything they could do to NOT listen, they did! Then as I am on the floor putting Andy's homework and folders in his backpack, I get another surprise! I pick up his red Thursday folder, and some nice runny cat puke drips onto my nice clean pants. The bitc* puked on Andy's homeowrk! No,teacher, my dog didnt eat my homework, my cat threw up all over it! ICK!!!! So I clean my pants and the folder. Why she aimed for that, I dont know. She is a snot. She is mad at me because she ran out of food in the middle of the night and I wouldnt wake up to feed HER. I will feed my baby at 4 inthe morning, but I refuse to let my damn cat start waking me up for night-time feedings! So needless to say, the cat has been at the foot of the bed almost all night MEOWING, meow, reaaawwww, maw.... Oh, shut up- your just the cat. Ay ay ay. And the day just started. :) Maybe all the weird stuff that could have happened all day, happened at once and now the rest of the day will be smooth sailing!! Heres hoping!
(As I type that, the cat looks at me and meows in my face, like reah right, bitc*, give me the food, or your day will be Hel*, and Ryan wakes up and goes from 0 to bawling in 4 seconds flat).
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
The curse of a former cheerleader
I wonder if I am alone in this, or if other former cheerleaders are haunted by the same thing. I just went to type an email to my sister-in-law, and I was spelling the word spirit... but the thing is, I cant just spell the word In my head. I am chanting the cheer trying to remember how to spell the word. Spirit, s-p-i-r-i-t- spirit!!!
I do this with the word TOUGH- get tough- t-o-u-g-h. I cant say the word "go", without thinking Lets go, lets go, L-e-t-s-g-o. LETS GO!!!!
There are so many other examples I could write about, but it is just too embarrassing. Seriously, here I am, almost a half a year away from 30 (holy crap!!) and I am still having these cheers haunting me from about 13 years ago. What is wrong with me... get out of my head!! Hahahha (just teasing). I can honestly say that I have not cheered since 12th grade...so why do they still pop into my head like I said them yesterday? Why do I still rely on them for some spelling? DE-FE-NSE!!! defense!!! YEAH! WOOOO HOOOO rock on baby!!!! HELP ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHa
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Mommy's going to cry
I just sent Andy off to school on the day of his first solo fieldtrip EVER! I am freaking out! We woke up this morning, and he tried telling me he couldnt bring a lunch on the fieldtrip. What?? You are going to be starving. He had the details a little jumbeled. Bring a brown bag lunch so you can throw it away, but you cant bring it on the fieldtrip. Well...that still wasnt quite right, so I checked the reminder the teacher sent home, and yes,they do get to eat lunch! They need a brown paper bag so they can trow it away, do not bring nice insulated bags. Aaahhhh. Ok, irrational fear number one- Check!
Then he got this sad little look on his face, and said, " I wish you could maybe, come with me mommy." It was hard for him to ask me, and even harder for me to explain that I couldnt go with him. That totally broke my heart :( I told him not every mommy gets to go, only 4. He can still walk with his friends and have a great time though! Then I tried to explain to him about the Children's Museum and to see if he remembered going there. He didnt- and looked overwhelmed... so we got online and went to the Children's Museum website- Ah! Curious george :) I read him the details about what was there, and he was better. I was afraid I got him a little too comfortable with the idea of being there..."Oh, by the way Andy, You need to make sure you are paying attention to the teacher and always watching for your group, ok!" He says, "Whats a group." I am thinking...Ok- I am going with you now... but instead I played it cool and explained to him what his group is and that they will all be wearing their green marathon shirts, and to make sure to stay by them the whole time. The thought of him going downtown on a bus, and being there in that big huge place without his mommy or Daddy, scares the crap out of me. I am going to be listening to the news to make sure there are no bus accidents, and constatly trying to clam myself down and NOT , I repeat NOT going to drive myself crazy thinking about him getting separated from the group downtown, getting involved in playing and looking up to see that his group is gone and he is not, going into the bathroom and having a child molester hiding in there (crazy fear, yes, but unheard of- NO) , being sad that I am not one of the mommies that went with. (He asked me, "why don't you WANT to come with me mommy?") God, I want to go with you more than anything kiddo- but I cant just show up. Maybe I can just happen to "bump" into them down there! Oh, what are you guys all doing here, you mean your fieldtrip was to TIHS Children's Museum? Gee, I had no idea...Mind if we tag along? I dont think they'd buy it :) So, irrational fear numbers 2,3, and 4... CHECK!
Then to make my little heart break even more, as his bus is at the end of the driveway and he is running in front of it to get on, he turns around out of no where, with the sun shining on his face, and blows me a kiss with the SWEETEST little smile on his face!!! Awwwww, why'd you go and do that, now I am going to be thinking about that and trying not to freak out about you being downtown...and thats just gonna make it even harder.
So, reality check:
mommy's fear that her first born baby is growing up...
check???
Monday, October 22, 2007
Colors, colors everywhere
I havent been keeping up with putting our paint colors on here like I wanted to do :) I meant to put a picture of each room as it gets done, but I am lazy- so here are 2 rooms for the price of one.
This is the living room- it is the same toffee crunch color as the dining room (which is why I wasnt in a hurry to post it!) But it made the pumpkin guts orange that used to be in our kitchen, actaully a very nice accent! The pictures dont do it justice :)
This is the laundry room (obviously) It is like a blue/gray... it is called Sailor boy. Someday, we will have nice cabinets and organization in there... but not yet :) So, ignore the clutter!!
Flunkee Doctors
Wow...like I said before, cant something just go the way it was planned ONCE for my mom??? She was supposed to have a CT scan this morning to see if there were any more spots that showed up on it since she had that one on her tongue. My mom is allergic to the contrast dye they use in the scans...so when they set this up, they SHOULD have told her to take benadryl 12 hours before the scan. They didnt. She goes in and they ask "did you take the benadryl??" My mom and dad say "What??" They go on to tell them that since she is allergic to the dye, she needs to have taken benadryl atleast 12 hrs before hand and now she cant have the CT scan done today becuase she didnt take it. Now she has to wait 24 MORE hours and have it done tomorrow.
I cant believe how frustrated I am at these doctors of hers. Cant they just be thorough and make sure they know this stuff ahead of time and not at the last minute? There is so much more I could say here... but just need to stop because its not my place to be talking about her stuff...but I wish she had a whole different group of doctors who were on top of things and communicated with eachother about her care..and would stop putting her on the back burner and making her wait a day here, a weekend there... all this nickel and diming of her time is adding up and they havent even started chemo yet. They'd be treating her a whole lot different if this were thier mom, wife, or any family member. I wish I could just yell at them, and get them to care. What a bunch of half assed doctors. They make her wait an extra week for an appt. because the guy wanted to fly to Germany and take a vacation with his girlfriend. Ok, fine- everyone's entitled to a vacation...but then make arrangements for my mom (or any patient you have) and who will be doing her appts while he's gone...other than his nurse. GRRRRRRrrrrrr
Just call me flower!
You know the old saying that some one who thinks their shi* dont stink??? I dont think that about myself at all...but I guess Andy does!! Haha
We were standing by the window waiting for Andy's bus, and Ryan just made a stinky stinky diaper. Justin walked around saying "I HATE that smell" I told him that he couldnt help it and it smells bad when everyone poops. Andy goes into explanation mode, telling me that, yes, it does stink when everyone poops...except for you mom! You smell like flowers! Boys smell like rotten eggs :) Hahaha... Boy do they learn that young!!! How sweet. That kid just earned himself an extra piece of candy.
So, I just thought I'd let it be known that my sh*% dont stink ;) Hehehe
Friday, October 19, 2007
I need to have a word with the Man upstairs...
So for the 4 people in the world who actaully read this page, I think most of you know that my mom has been fighting breast cancer since August. Well, atleast that is how long she has known about it. She had a double masectomy, and should have started chemo and had only one week of it left by now. The problem is, she hasnt even started one round of it yet. One of her inscisions (not sure on that spelling and too lazy to go to Word to figure it out for sure..) isnt healing like the other. There is dead tissue instead of nice healing.So the surgeon has not let her do chemo even though her oncologist has been telling him to speed things up because she has the aggressive/invasive type.
Just when it seems like things are going to start progressing and she might get to alteast start herception (the antibody) She gets a sore on her tongue, and her doctor wont start her on the anti-body till its fixed. So, she heads off to the dentist who assures her not to loose any sleep over it and he is sure it is nothing. Then yesterday my mom calls me and tells me the sore was cancerous. But it is like a mole, they remove it and hopefully there is nothing left. Now she might need to see a different specailist...and probably more delay in starting chemo...which she obviously need to start ASAP since it is apparantly still growing in there.
How much can one little underweight mommy who has no spleen, actaully take? She has been so strong and up beat this whole time, and she has had to sit and dread chemo for 5 weeks now. It is bad enough when you are able to start it immediately after surgery, but to have to sit and think about it, loosing your hair, how sick it will make you feel...for 5 weeks??? It is so not fair for her. Why cant something just turn out great for her??? Why couldnt that have just been a normal old sore that showed up after she healed super fast? Instead that is cancer too, and she is STILL trying to heal from her surgery 5 weeks later. I think we have enough angels up there to help get things going the way they should... so- Hello??? Where are you guys- she needs you!!!!!! Put down the fishing pole, get your wings and get to work!!!!!! Hehehe...
So, she doesnt know where this is giong yet and how it will change the game plan with chemo (it is does change) or if it is anywhere else in the vicinity of her ear/nose/throat.... So now all we do is hope it was a random fluke and just sprouted in the middle of no where and there are no more cells around.
If you have a minute, could you just say a little prayer or have a little talk with the Big Man up there on her behalf :) I know we'd all appreciate it!!! I guess I am not saying the right things to him-
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
A glimps into the last 1/2 week :)
I give Justin a hug and kiss, and he asks me"Why you doin' dat mommy??" I tell Justin that I love him and he is my special 2 year old. He gets totally insulted (thankfully I had the camera attached to my hip and got a picture of his disgust!!) And says "NO I AM NOT" I say "ok...what are you then" He Growls back "I am 6 1/2" Then I laugh and he tries hard to hide his cute little smile but he cant do it, so we laugh at how silly he is.
Andy brings home the school mouse and gets to keep it over the weekend to take it on adventures. He brings it with to Haylee's house and buckles the mouse up safe and sound... when we get home, he "reads" the mouse the book, "If You Take a Mouse to School." Then we write and illustrate a story and stick it in the binder and he gets to read it to his friends at school.
Ryan is a big boy now... he has gotten 2 teeth, and figured out how to hold his very own bottle :) He still doesnt grasp tilting it up so it flows better...but he'll get there :)
Justin is practicing to be on the show "The Next Iron Chef" Quite the little chef I have!!
We got SOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We decide on a whim Saturday morning, to drive up to Duluth for the day. It was awesome fun!!! We brought the kids to the train museum. Dont worry, this track wasnt in use... its not like I had them hog tied anyway :)
Andy and Justin think that they are strong enough to move the train wheels. Keep tryin boys. If you do it, I will buy you anything you ever wanted... hahaha
Just had to get a picture in front of one of their favorites... A train signal :) Easy entertainment!!
Ryan takes a whack at imitaing a stick person at the Childrens Meuseum in Duluth.
My little men see the boat and the rest is history. We had to go "fishing" for about 15 minutes.
Then we drive up to Gooseberry Falls... now that I look at this picture, it isnt the one I wanted in here :( I have one that someone took of all of us in front of the waterfall. Oh well. It is crazy once you get up north and do something fun like this- all of the sudden the people who you know drove like jerkuses are super nice and friendly and offering to take your family picture :) Everyone is so happy and willing to take a minute to do a favor for someone else... Its the magic of being up there. It makes you a nicer person!!! :)
Ryan discovers a pine tree...
And finally, on Sunday, we painted our dining room. It is some sort of Toffee color. We are happy with this color!!!! ;)
(Justin is still trying to get used to eating lunch without his big brother Andy while he is at school...he looks so lonely all by himself at the table...)
It was a busy few days, but sooo much fun. It feels SO good to finally have grass- and I have been wishing we could go to Duluth for about 3 months now- and the painting..well...that will be an ongoing thing for probablly 6 months :) But one more room down!!!
Friday, October 12, 2007
How is that cake???
I was watching Food Network before I went to sleep last night and Ace of Cakes was on. They were talking about the "cake" they were making as they were covering styrofoam shapes with fondant and icing. Then they were drilling pieces of a particular cake together and I started wondering what the people who order these so called "cakes" do, when they go to cut into the "cake" and there is a big styrofoam floral block underneath instead of actaul cake. I know parts and pieces of the cakes are, well, "cake", but thats just cheating!! The guy named Geof made a castle cake and made a big deal to let everyone know that he made it out of...cake! Then the delivery guy dropped it and ruined the thing and what did he blame it on...yep, the cake! The real cake towers were to heavy and unstable and fragile.
There is really absolutley no point to this post... just a thought. Really, I would be bummed if my cake were made out of anything that is NOT cake!!! I love my cake too much. Really, the show should be called "Ace of decorating random pieces of construction material with frosting and making you feel bad that your cakes fall apart because you dont use hardware to hold them together." At that point, it is like covering a piece of wood and playing play-dough on top of it. :)
But it doesnt change anything... I still LOVE my food network and I will still watch my shows...even Ace of "Cakes".
Haha
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Stop and smell the roses
Every once and a while you are just cruising on, going through life doing what you have to do. Then something happens that stops you dead in your tracks like you ran into a brick wall going 100 miles an hour, and makes you fall on your butt and you cant get up until you relaize what really matters in life.
The motto I have on the side of my page about living each day like you dont have a tomorrow to count on, came true for Jake's aunt. She passed away last Saturday, very suddenly and unexpected. I dont know why it's affecting me the way that it is, but its like a wake up call. They were planning a trip on Friday night, and she never woke up on Saturday. She had no idea anything was wrong. Now her husband and son are left dealing with her sudden death.
I cant stand thinking about what they are going through. She was one of those people you meet who really stand out in life for being an amazing person inside and out. She was just an awesome person...she'd do anything to help out someone who needed it. She genuinely cared about everyone.
I hope that in the future, my kids feel the same way about me, that hers did about her. He had so much respect for her and they were so close and important to eachother, and involved in eachothers lives.
It just reminds me that I need to do what my page says and really appreciate each day, because you really never know what could happen. I dont want to rush through life and not enjoy it because we are in a hurry to do _______ (fill in the blank). Yes, the laundry can wait, the dishes can wait, the floor can wait... but my kids will only be small for a little while- and I dont want to miss anything- My kids wont wait. They will gorw up no matter what I am rushing around doing, and then I will look back and feel horrible and wonder where the time went and wonder why we didnt appreciate it more. No more saying "Oh, we'll do that tomorrow or next week." I am going to be more patient and not snap at them for little things that kids do.
What am I trying to say? I really dont know! Just take a minute to tell someone today, how much you love them or how lucky you are to have them in your life :) I have been thinking that,if that happened to me, would my kids remember me as the mom who was grumpy and strict...or as a happy mom who had tons of fun with them and enjoyed every minute with them...I dont intend to EVER find out...but will make damn sure it is the second one!
What are your top five favorite cooking seasonings?
Submitted by skip.town.
1. Onion Salt
2. Lawry's salt
3. Onion Salt
4. Oregano
5. Onion Salt
Did I mention onion salt??? (For meat obviously)
Monday, October 08, 2007
One of my favorite reasons for fall...
Going to the apple orchard and tasting the different types of apples...
Watching the kids get amazed at how they move the apples on the conveyer belt to pick out the "good ones"...
Enjoying some freshly made apple crisp...
Even Ryan got a tiny taste of the icing! :)
Picking out a pumpkin and posing for ANOTHER one of moms silly pictures...
Going home with all of the goodies, which included:
3 pumpkins (Andy, Justin, Ryan)
2 little white gords (mom and dad)
a big yummy jar of caramel
2 suckers
And a 10 lb bag of apples
The best part was that it was a Friday night and kind of rainy, so it was so slow there. We pretty much had the place to ourselves :) Now I need to go and make my treats with the apples...
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Guess what everyone??? I am a fuc*ing bi*ch!
What a day. I was sleeping just now, but got woken up by my 6 month old and now I cant sleep again becuase I am thinking about the craziness that went down today...
Well, like I said before, this was my late day watching the girls. That means mom drops them of at 7:30, dad picks them at what is supposed to be a reasonable amount of time to make a 15 minute drive (at the longest) So realistically, he should be here no later than 5:15. Usually, this isnt the case...it is 5:30 or so, which I can work with- if I have enough notice that they would be here even later. I never get the courtesy of that phone call from him though.
Today, I expected him to get off of work at 5, be here shortly after. We have plans to leave here at 5:30 to get to the apple orchard by 6 and enjoy a quick night out since they close at 7. It was too nice of a day not to enjoy it like that with the kids. Not to mention, I need apples to make a treat for Andy's school for Friday. We also need to squeeze supper in some where along the line too. So, I am getting a little irritated since this was yet another time that 5:30 came and went without the respectful phone call I wish for. He picks the girls up at ten to 6. That is almost an hour after he is supposed to get off of work and drive a ten minute drive in 15 minutes. So, today, I had had enough of this not respecting my time stuff and cutting into our family time without any apologies or anything!
I start making supper and getting the table set with paper towels and drinks and whatever else I can- because I cant make dinner go any later than it already was. He finally shows up- I get the girls' shoes on them and get their coats. He opens the door, and I ask if he was running late. (yes, I know- obvious question, right??) he says, "yes, very" Ok- atleast he acknowledges this...but could he have atleast called me then? NOPE. I tell him very politely that we had plans at 6 and we are late and that when this happens we really need a phone call. He starts telling me he was on a phone call and on hold and didnt realize what time it was. I was listening. then he tells me that he is the man in charge in his area and really, he cant leave until the job is done. **this was not included in the agreement when setting up daycare hours...I am not open revolving hours for him to come when he pleases- 5:00 is the time we set up*** So, I tell him, fine-I need a phone call from now on because we have plans at night as a family and now we cant do them. He gets pissy... I tell you, I have never seen a person flip so fast in my entire life! He got this deranged look in his eyes and he was trembling because he was so angry that I told him to respect my time! He cannot be told what to do by a girl. So somewhere along the line, he tells me he is not happy about how things are going and always have to go through "dads" I dont know what he meant by this, since any time I had anything to say, me or Jake would call or email for ourselves and never mention boo to "dad". I assume he meant Jake and Em's dad...but who knows????? I didnt respond to this, bcause I didnt know what the heck he is talking aout at this point. So then he tells me his dad said he can watch them tomorrow if its not working out... Oh...ok. You just knew this was going to happen a head of time and had arrangements made for the following day??? I so dont appreciate being lied to! I may not like confrontation- but it sure doesnt mean I am a gullible idiot! I reply that I dont like him not appreciating and respecting my family and our time and just showing up whenever he pleases without a phone call or an apology for being an hour late. So then he decides that, yep, he is gonna drop the girls off with his dad tomorrow. Ok...thats fine. But by this point, the intensity in his voice and the look in his eyes, was pretty much scaring the hell out of me! He whips the girls off the steps and says something along the lines of getting the hell out of here. Out of madness and fear that he will come back around the corner in some psychotic rage, I shut the door-hard!!! This set him off even more. He is huffing and puffing down my driveway mumbling curse words under his breath...sort of mumbling anyway. Then he gets out to the truck and as he is buckeling one of the girls in, he is screaming at the top of his lungs (remember...its a nice day- there are people outside, neighbors have windows open...and small children too) anyway- he is yelling at the top of his lungs calling me a fucking bitch! Oh my god. He was in the face of his daughter as he is screaming horrible things from outside so I could hear them inside! So I yell out- way to go role model. Those POOR little girls. I was scared for them, scared for thier mom...based on his past, I have a legitimate reason for my concern! His only comeback to that was about some sarcastic remark I made to him about our kitchen when we had orange walls, orange pendants, and it was very...goofy looking. I joked to him while some of the kids were in the basement and some were getting shoes on, that with the red glow, looked like a little whore house. That was a sarcastic remark- adult to adult with no children around. He tells me- watch out who you argue with. (Remember- he is still yelling this from the street into my house for all to hear) I think Oh my god- are you threatning me??? But with his not so gentle past- I will take it as a threat. I really would love to get a restraining order. He is a fricking psycho. I worry for the safety of my kids, me and Jake and our home. When he flips out- who knows what he will do. He has gone to extremes in the past during a rage.
So needless to say, I am done watching them. We will miss having them here, but I want no reason for that pathetic excuse for a man to come near this house, or my family again. I would have called the police if Jake werent home. Thank god he was. I love him so so sososososososososooooooo much. He was so calm and level headed and just handled himself so gracefully under all of this. I felt so safe knowing he was with us. Maybe asshole should take some lessons.
SO then back to this "dad" business... jake got on the phone right away to call his sister...he tried and tried- many many times...there was no answer. not at work, not on the cell phone. Ok. About 30-40 minutes later... who do you think calls us? Yep, "dad". Well, Ron, if you dont like "dads" being inolved, I think you were talking to the wrong person about this problem you have. Somehow, everyone had been contacted about this...but us. Could no body involved call us to get things straight before getting the whole darn family involved? Argh.
I really recommend never doing daycare for family. It will only screw things up. People cant stick to the hours you agree to in the first place. Is it so hard to understand? Or how about being able to handle yourself when someone tells you theyd apprecaite a phone call or asking if it is ok if they are here late. He went into a rage beacuse I didnt let him walk all over my family. I let him know he was in the wrong. What a major jerk. I will never be in the same room with him again- for the saftey of my family. He is one crazed dude. Hello anger management classes, good bye loving daycare by auntie. It was great while it lasted. Too bad his behavior had to ruin it for everyone. I feel so bad for them, and hope they dont live everyday with what I saw a glimps of tonight.
This will be...interesting!
I just put the kids all down for a nap about 10 minutes ago. This is waaay later than normal, but this is no normal day. We have a million people pounding new siding on our house. They started bright and early ripping OFF the other siding because of something to do with seeing the bumps and ripples from the nails underneath it. Now they are pounding new build- right and new siding on the house. Hmmm. Wonder how well they'll all sleep. On top of that, we have the landscaper here too.They are loading up rock on to the bobcat and dumping it to landscape around the house and where the future deck will be. Across the street and down a house, they are digging a new hole for a new house. There is nothing quiet about this day... We also had the plumber in and out to hook up the line for the sprinkler system, and the construction manager in here sealing the counters to the wall so no moisture gets back there, and another guy who gave us a new transom window above the patio door since the other had a stress fracture... and to fix the door handle going into the garage since it wasnt put on right. Oh yeah-- Right before this, I realized that it is Wednesday. Not Tuesday like I thought this morning when I was getting Andy ready for school. This is library day and I didnt send his library book to school with him. So...for the first time, I load up ALL the kids....nieces and all... and run all 4 little rugrats with me to drop off Andy's book. Maybe it wasnt the biggest deal to make him wait until next week when they have library again... but I couldnt imagine Andy watching all the other kids picking out their library books and not being able to get one of his own...all because his mommy screwed up and had her days off a bit. This is one of my "late" days with the girls so they'll be here until a little after 5...
Mommy is going to sit in the whirl pool tonight and put soooo many bubbles in it that they pour over the edges when I turn on the jets. Then I am gong to find a radio to bring in there and I will turn it up really loud and embarras myself with my wonderful singing and screw up the lyrics to every song like always. Now that sounds fun...
What a crazy day!!! Is it nuts that I'd rather have days like this, than to have boring drawn out days? This makes the day go faster! I suppose after a few days though, I might get sick of it :) I've always been a girl who likes a little excitement in her life! :)
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Thank you, Cub!!!
One day I was waiting in line to check out at Cub, and a lady walked up to me and asked me how many kids I had. I told her 3. She gives me a funny look- probably because I look like I am 19 and not 29, and then she hands me 6 mystery ticekts to Camp Snoopy (or whatever it is called now).
So after the day I had yesterday, and the way Andy was acting when he got home...I thought it would be a good night to get out of the house and go have some fun. The kids needed to let loose. They havent been able to get outside and play, since it has been raining so often and our yard is freshly leveled out black dirt at the moment. (mud football is more and more tempting though- they would LOVE that). When we get to the ticket counter, we find out what our mystery tickets are...
5 of them have 6 pts each... that is good for each of them to go on about 5 rides
1 of them is good for an all day wrist band!
How cool is that?? We cashed in the 5 tickets and saved the all day pass for a time when we can go and spend more time there. We got there at about 7:30- but had to eat first too, so there wasnt a whole lot of time for rides. Then, because it was a quiet weeknight, a few of the ride operators asked if we minded if the kids rode twice. Ummm... No. How fun!!! So they each got 2 ( I think) bonus rides :) Their little faces were priceless!!! Especailly on the Frog Hopper!!! That was adorable :) So, what a great and fun night!!! Thank you Cub :)
Monday, October 01, 2007
Sounds like a case of the Monday's (warning...pity-party to follow)
Ok...you'd only get that if you've seen Office Space :) I think this is just a really bad day... maybe its been raining too much lately, maybe just havent been able to get outside and play enough, maybe its just that I havent had time to sit and take a break for, well, um... a very long time??? I dont know what the reason, but today is a crappy day. The thing is, only if you are a stay at home mom, do you get what I am feeling... And I am SO not saying going to work is better or worse, I am not picking on any choices that anyone has made,and I am also not that staying home is so tough and going to work is a cake walk. I have never expericed going to work as a parent, so I cant say anything about that side of the story, thats all. I am sure that has its own set of issues, I just dont know what they are, since I dont get up and leave my house to go to a different place to work. The thing about staying home, is that I think it would be easier if I were doing the same thing with the same group of kids somewhere other than my house. Not only am I trying to watch my own kids, and my nieces, I am constantly distracted by the household things... like laundry, dishes, bills, vacuuming, cleaning toilets, organizing the filing cabinets, making phone calls, dealing with door to door salesmen who will ring the door bell and wake everyone up from naps, organizing things for Andy to bring back to school everyday. then I am distracted by trying to figure out how to fix up each room in the house to make it functional, what color to paint the kids' rooms, the fact that we need curtains on our patio doors so we arent a walking entertainment center for the neighbors at night... etc... If it is a mess or needs a mothers touch, it is distracting me from my main job....being a mom (to my own kids and also to my nieces- hehe) I am a stay at home MOM...not a stay at home cleaning lady who gets everything done around the house, all while focusing completley on the kids all day. This is crazy .There are days where Jake gets home and I realize I havent even had time to go take a potty break for myself. If I did not have kids, I would not stay home and just be here doing house work... I would be at my 9-5 job and then we'd come home from our day and tag team all the things that need to get done together. But since I am home all day (with my job...the kids) I feel like people think I need to be doing all of that too. When people go to work, they arent expected to be getting laundry done, paying bills, or anything like that, so why do I feel like I have to be doing that during my work day? I wish I knew. If bills did need to get done, working folk have a lunch break to do errands, chores, relax... and get that stuff done or to just have a minute to not think about anything but chewing. I am not trying to whine and have a self-pity party... but man would it EVER be nice to be acknowleged ONCE! I feel like cinderella... minus all the mumbo jumbo fairytail stuff about becoming a princess and being all beautiful and stuff :) Hehehe. I am talking the cinderella BEFORE fairy godmother...
I wonder what it would be like to wake up in the morning and get ready to go to work. Then to get in the car either with the kids to drop them off at day care or alone. Even after dropping them off at day care, there is still that time to yourself... listen to the radio without interruptions (as much as I love that too!!) and just think and relax or crank up the radio and sing as loud and horribly as I can (this is my personal fav.). Then to get to work and have a job to do, but be able to consult with other adults in the mean time. (I do try this now, but it is usullay short-lived because there is some meeting to go to, or a more pressing job activity on the other end of the phone...which I totally understand). Then if the job is getting a little hairy and unproductive, or stressful, what would it be like to be able to get up and walk away for 10 minutes like they tell a person to do. I cant walk away from my job or someone will get bitten, hit, tossed down the stairs, sat on, etc... So then coming back to my job with a refreshed calm and clear head... would be nice. Then there is lunch. Go to the cafeteria, stay at the desk and surf the net, take a cat nap??? My lunch is spent picking up lunch dishes before everyone wakes up and wants snack :) once and a while, I will have a minute to get on the computer. Then the kids slowly wake up- one by one- either on thier own or because one of the awake ones woke them up on thier way downstairs. Then I have a crabby kid because they didnt get to wake up on thier own terms. then comes snack time. By somewhere sort of close to this time, a person working out of the house would be winding down and getting ready for that drive home again, or to get the kids at daycare... but to have that quiet time in the car again and zone out into the drive or pretend to be a rock star like I do and sing to every song that comes on the radio. This is about the time I start watching for Andy to get off the bus, then trying to figure out what to have for supper that wont take until 7 to make and eat, then cooking it, doing the dishes again, bath time, laundry, bed time, pass out, start again in about 6 hours...
Dont get me wrong. I am not trying to complain and seem like I have it soooo rough. I LOVE my job! It is all I ever wanted to be in my whole life. I never had ambitions to be anything big and career based. All I wanted to be ever is a mommy (and the tooth fairy, but cut me slack...I was 6) Now I am a mom--3 times over and I adore it. no body else on this earth can melt my heart and make me all warm and gushy as my little babies and my nieces too. I look down and see these big humongus eyes staring at me waiting for me to fix all the troubles in the world, and I cave. They turn me to butter! Maybe all I want is to have people realize that this isnt a cakewalk either, and to respect my time and know that I am not a wonder woman and that I cant do everything all the time. Maybe once it would be nice to have a break too... without it being harmful to the kids :) Yeah yeah, poor me. Like I said- its a case of the monday's. I tell ya, it's like 2 different worlds. Like a civil war that working parents will never understand the feelings and the time of a... I cant even say non-working parent- becasue we are busting our butts... of a parent who stays at home with the kids. And stay at home parents will never understand the ways of a working parent.
There are so many more perks to staying home for me, than to go to work... dont think I am bitch**ng about my kids or anything. I will do anything and everything for them... in a heart beat. Its the understanding of my time and feelings from other adults that I am needing about now...