Ugh...enough of the baby talk, right??? God, last night I had a dream that I had a baby, and I was just snuggling with it forever. I had it up on my shoulder and it was resting its little head on me, and it was all nuzzled into my neck. I could feel its little breath on my neck giving me the chills and its little hand scratching my shoulder while it slept. I bent down to give it a kiss and its teeney head was so soft and fuzzy and smelled sweet like a baby. It was such a short dream, but so many little details- it really felt so real. I could have cried when I woke up and my arms were empty!!! Damn- I said we made a decision about being done, but I didnt say I am totally at peace with it. To make it worse, Justin said his infamous line again today, "Mommy, can we please have another baby? I want to have a sister. Can you have a baby in your tummy, mommy, please??" I told him that even if we did, it could be another brother, but he didnt care. Then tonight I was scrapbooking with Daphne and I was working on some of Justin's baby pictures, and it was so hard to see those knowing it would never happen again! I knew it would be hard to be done, but I had no idea it would be this hard......
(Think Disney world, baseball games, and attention for the boys and everything else...no diapers in the middle of the night...)
ugh
Oh Krissy...I am so sorry you're having such a tough time with this! Such a tough decision to make. And of course your mind (and kids) have play games with you and make you second guess your decision!
ReplyDeleteI'll make a deal with you...if I ever get pregnant again (fingers crossed, please), I'll let you snuggle and cuddle with my baby as much as you want...and Justin can hang out with it too!
Love you!